Drawing the dating line

8 Jul

In my early 20s I spent a lot of time with a group of amateur musical theatre performers, allocating myself to the role of Official Audience Member. Anyone who knows the theatre crowd knows straight guys are rare entities and straight, single guys are almost non-existent. So it was inevitable that all the girls would fall for any man who happened to be available. This led to complex “crush pecking-orders” as girls struggled to make the first move and stake their claim, at least for the duration of the show. As a result, some guys ended up dating nearly all the aspiring actresses, creating an incestuous undercurrent in amateur theatre circles.  

I’m someone who values loyalty. My friends even call me the terrier, and not just because I have scruffy hair. I might look small and harmless but mess with my friends and I’ll bite. Dating a friend’s ex or someone a friend had strong feelings for isn’t something I’m comfortable with. But in this time of man-drought, can we afford this luxury?

Are our friends’ exes potential candidates?

In her post The Recyclables: would you date one? SMH’s Samantha Brett ponders whether it’s better to know your date’s history from your friend’s experiences with him.

What do you think? Is it ok to date your friend’s ex?

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5 Responses to “Drawing the dating line”

  1. cocktailsattiffanys July 8, 2010 at 11:50 pm #

    An interesting thought. This is the first post of yours I’ve read, but I’m excited to go back and read previous posts. Best of luck!

    xoxo,

    Lucky

  2. Lucie Stevens July 10, 2010 at 1:06 pm #

    Hi Lucky,
    Lovely to meet you and thanks for reading! We’re pleased to have you on the band-wagon.
    By the looks of your blog you and your wing-girl are in the US. What’s the man-drought situation over there?

    : ) Lucie.

  3. ceade July 11, 2010 at 12:14 pm #

    No, I don’t think I would go there.

    At the outset, it seems a bit weird although, time can be a great elixir on new perspectives.

    Of course, it would depend on a range of circumstances. If the breakup was amicable and there were no serious personality flaws or disorders (i.e. he wasn’t a control freak or rageaholic) and she has moved on to find the man of her dreams, has no hard feelings then it may be possible if the guy is the one who expresses his interest in me as a person rather than in an effort to get close to his previously beloved. Herein lies an issue … how will you know for sure?

    No, I think it would be better to find my own rather than have a friend’s cast offs.

  4. Social Graces July 11, 2010 at 6:58 pm #

    In answer to your question about nice guys in my grammar class – there’s one that seems OK although his fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired. Other than that, the pickings are very slim indeed …

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