Man-made mood modifier

6 Dec

manMap looks for loveIt never ceases to fascinate me how easily a man can brighten a woman’s mood. Perhaps it’s because I’m starved for romantic love, or because I’ve conditioned myself to be independent, but it doesn’t take much to make my heart feel lighter.

I don’t think I’m alone in this either. A woman hoping for love can read into the most trivial of gestures. I’m sure most of us have been there before. A kind word from a guy we think is decent, some extra attention from a charismatic man, some unrequested assistance which shows he’s paying attention captures our heart. Before we know it we’re wondering if we’ll need another place at the family’s Christmas dinner table. We all laugh at the scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary when Bridget imagines Daniel’s wedding speech about her ‘non-existent skirt’. But we know we’re laughing at ourselves, that we’re guilty of similar crimes, that we’ve silently imagined what it’d be like to spend each day with someone we haven’t even dated yet.

My heart has a cautious personality. I’m not one to hoard crushes or fall in love at a glance. Even with friends, it takes me a while to sand out a groove I can comfortably slide myself into and relax. I realise this means I am totally doomed in the arena of love. For me there will be no love at first sight in the stationery aisle at the shops or as I scribble down survey responses in a pub (well, I hope this might change one day …). And while I find this depressing, it means I have the benefit of completely embracing any kind gestures from guys and just enjoying them, without thinking there’s a premise for something more. And sometimes that’s all I need.

On Friday night I set out for Arthouse after what had been a busy and tiring week. Truth be told, surveying is damn hard work and sometimes I’d much rather lie on the couch and stare at the tv than trawl bars for men. But spurred on by the fact that I’ll have a whole month in NY to recover from working so hard, I set out, promising myself I’d come home at 10pm if I hadn’t met my quota.

It was around 7pm by the time I arrived, and I was already wondering how I was going to summon the strength to stand up for the next three hours (little tip for anyone in the surveying business: buy comfy shoes!). But as I stepped onto Arthouse’s threshold, the handsome bouncer asked me a question. I was so surprised I had to ask him to repeat it.

“Could I see some ID please?” he said.

“Of course,” I gushed. “Thank you so much for asking.”

It might have been that he asked everyone for ID but in that moment I didn’t care. I know I look young for my age but I certainly don’t look under 18. And I know this. But that one question breathed the energy into me that I needed. I almost skipped into the bar, trying to repress my foolish grin as I did my usual reconnaissance circuit to suss out where the guys were.

By 7.45pm I was heading out the door, my quota met, thinking of takeaway and pyjamas.

“Stay young,” the bouncer said as I passed him.

“I’ll try,” I replied, still not wanting to know if he was asking everyone for ID.

And although only 30% of the guys I surveyed at Arthouse were single, I didn’t feel like the venue was without its use for single women. All the guys I approached agreed to be surveyed. They all seemed like nice, decent men who were genuinely happy to help me. That’s a pretty great gesture from the men of Sydney to a strange girl clutching a pen and some paper. And it was enough to shake away the weariness of the week and make my heart feel light.

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One Response to “Man-made mood modifier”

  1. Stuart December 22, 2010 at 1:57 pm #

    I can assure you that men do this as well, although they are unlikely to admit. Here is a song from my current favourite band Elbow:

    How dare the Premier ignore my invitations?
    He’ll have to go
    So, too, the bunch he luncheons with
    It’s second on my list of things to do

    At the top is stopping by
    Your place of work and acting like
    I haven’t dreamed of you and I
    And marriage in an orange grove
    You are the only thing in any room you’re ever in
    I’m stubborn, selfish and too old

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