The Generation Gap

15 Dec

I’ve reached a time in my life where nearly all my friends have hit the 30 mark. There are a few peeps still enjoying their 20s but all of them have passed those milestone years of youth. Except when it comes to family. And nothing makes you feel older than realising there’s a new generation of adults pushing you into the next age bracket on survey and subscription forms.

Naturally, the older I get the more anxious I become about my single status. Some of my friends from school have been in committed relationships for years and I’m more or less the last single person they know. And now when I go out, I’m horribly aware of all the younger, fresh-faced, pretty girls on the scene, exuding a confidence I’m yet to develop. And I don’t like it. It scares me. Which is partly why I didn’t enjoy my recent Ivy visit.

For a long time I was able to console myself with the thought that I’m not particularly interested in being with a boy. I want a man, someone who knows who they are and what they want to do with their life, as much as a person possibly can. But as I got a little older, I realised there was a disturbing pattern forming in Sydney’s dating culture: the guys in their 30s wanted girls in their early 20s leaving me and my fellow Gen X-ers literally in No-Man’s Land. Perhaps men really are using the ‘half your age plus seven’ rule.

This weekend I attended an 18th and a 21st. Thankfully both these young people are single at the moment, because watching someone more than a decade younger than you with their adoring boy/girlfriend is absolute torture. Even more so if you’re suffering from Singleton Festive Blues. The 18th ended in my second trip to Ivy. My advice is, unless you’re a cougar, don’t waste your time there on a Saturday night.

Luckily for me, I’m the youngest in my immediate family. Some of my wing-girls have happily attached younger brothers and sisters. Some of them are even aunts to younger siblings’ children. And while none of them begrudge their siblings’ happiness, it does feel like the universe is twisting a knife in your heart. It would have been a great comfort for elder sisters in Austen’s time to know that the younger girls wouldn’t be ‘out’ until they were married themselves.

At this time of year, 30+ singletons don’t need an 18th or 21st to be over-conscious about their lack of partner and their age. Many on us are already reinforcing our thickest skin in preparation for Christmas, where we will once again sit at the family dinner table, wondering why love has passed them by for yet another year.

But hope is at hand ladies, and a new year is on the horizon. So while you’re taking advantage of the strong Australian dollar by shopping online, keep in mind that something else is getting stronger too. Overseas recessions are forcing many male ex-pats back to Australia. And with Oprah on our tourism bandwagon, more American guys are bound to think about heading our way for sun and security. And that can only be a good thing for single ladies. There’s every reason to hope that by next Christmas you won’t be waking up alone.


5 Responses to “The Generation Gap”

  1. Cecil December 22, 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    I’m in my early 30s, and am astounded at the attention I get from girls in their 20, even late teens… that I never got when I was in my 20s.

    Just a look/perve is enough to get young girls smiling. The fact is that response is not received from girls in their 30s, who are more likely to ignore or sneer.

    Guys primary focus on looks, young or old, its up to the females to respond. We can’t hitch up with someone in their 30s if they don’t respond.

    Having said that, up until a few years ago, I USE to date older women, as in 1-5years. Since I started hitting the girls in the 30s, its been a traumatic experience, which other guys have confirmed. Your attitude sucks, and have little tolerance for what are natural male behaviour, we’re all boys at heart. This I’m sure is a contributing factor to long lasting relationships.

    Another thing my friend mentioned to me, was that Asian parents think Western males are good and Western females are bad, which we found surprising, since we both consider the western male much worse than an Asian male. But as we grew older we noticed most(not all!) Asian girls with Western males, were nice guys. This was quite perplexing, then we realised these are the “nice” guys rejected by girls in their 20s… whom they eventually want in their 30s.

    This has also resulted in my friend and his fellow Asian’s having a “female” drought, since western females rarely look at Asian males. Often when you see a western female with an Asian, look carefully, just like takeaway store servers, they’re likely eastern European who having live in the west, are more multi cultural.

    • Lucie Stevens December 24, 2010 at 7:17 pm #

      Well there you are ladies, straight from the horse’s mouth. Thank you Cecil for reminding us of the importance of being friendly and open.

  2. Proud Gen X'er December 24, 2010 at 8:55 am #

    Sorry to be picky but if you and your friends are only just turning 30, you’re Gen Y. Ain’t no Gen X’s born in 1980, sorry!

    • Lucie Stevens December 24, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

      Hi PGX,
      I’m also a proud Gen Xer (I was born in the 70s) so I’m sure you understand why I feel the need to clarify: most of my friends have been in their 30s for many years. I’m actually the youngest of one of my core group of peeps. But I’m blessed with friends of all ages though, so while there are still a few in their 20s, the bulk of us are doing our best to ignore the big 4-0 taunting us on the horizon …


  1. Tweets that mention The Generation Gap « My manMap -- - December 20, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lucy Chad. Lucy Chad said: RT @MymanMap: Was having some facebook issues last week, so here's last week's post in case you didn't catch it. […]

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