Love’s missing link

8 Feb

On Friday evening I found myself near Central Station, so I ducked in to pick up a copy of MX. I love MX and am always mournful that they don’t have a rack of them on buses for non-train commuters. I like to turn to Here’s looking at you first because it makes me feel optimistic. Just like in Before Sunrise, I imagine train-goers having romantic rendezvous after spying each other across the platform.

Filled with a warm glow after reading the hopeful messages of desire and attraction (or was I just hot from the insane weather?) I turned to Emma Merkas’ column and was met with a bitter-sweet victory. The column was an open letter to bachelors, asking them where they all went. Her conclusion was that eligible men and women were ‘drifting past each other on the dance floor’ but not interacting because we’ve created a ‘dating culture so frightening it’s not working for anyone’.

For a second I thought, ‘Hurrah! My research is accurate! The information men are giving me is true!’ Then I thought, ‘Alas, it seems Sydney has really hit social stalemate.’ How many women hoping to fall in love in 2011 will still be single next New Year’s Eve?

Something in Merkas’ column didn’t ring true for me though, which gave me a little scrap of hope. The single men she’d spoken to had given up on nightlife scene, believing there were no good single women left. My research doesn’t reflect this, unless the guys I’m surveying have lowered their standards so far they’re happy to settle for anyone with the right chromosome combination.

Merkas went on to suggest, ‘Do stuff,’ so that your life is interesting, therefore making you more interesting to other people. This is good advice, accept that no matter how interesting you are, no one will know you’re interesting unless you actually have a conversation them. Merkas asks, ‘… where, or what, is the missing link’ that will prevent eligibles from passing each other by? Personally, I think stopping is the link. Don’t walk past that guy you like the look of in the bar/pub/park/shop/gym etc. Stop in front of him and say hello. That way you’ll at least get some idea of whether he’s someone you could get to know.

In Manhattan, guys had no qualms about having a quick chat to every woman they passed. I’m sure they didn’t all end up with dates at the end of the day, but their odds would’ve been better than the people who kept to themselves.

I realise Sydney-siders aren’t ever going to become as openly flirtatious as American men, but slowing down a little and flashing a few more smiles when we go out might help us end our social stalemate. Failing that, we may have to start patting our heads all the time*, now that Hamish & Andy have finished their regular show.

*For those of you who’ve never heard the Hamish & Andy show, on Thursday evenings the guys told all single people to pat their heads while they were driving. If head-patters spotted each other, the idea was to pull over and exchange numbers. I’d love to know if anything every eventuated beyond 30 seconds of radio fame. 🙂


2 Responses to “Love’s missing link”

  1. Erick I. Rivera February 14, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    It s a fact that has been the mantra of many psychologists and marriage councilors that what happens in the bedroom between couples is what actually keeps them together for a long time. It s here in the bedroom that most couples are free to be themselves and they know each of them has no secrets that the other is unaware of. A physical touch becomes a necessity psychologically as it gives spouses reassurance that they are always there for each other.


  1. Why we won’t talk to men « My manMap - May 3, 2011

    […] all about the social stalemate ladies, and it’s up to the individual woman to break […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: