Why we won’t talk to men

28 Apr

The results of the poll “What stops you from talking to guys you don’t know?” are in.

The top three responses were:

  • I figure if men like the look of me, they’ll come to me.
  • I don’t feel confident in general.
  • I get nervous and don’t know what to say.

This is a sad state of affairs, ladies. We really are our own worst enemies.

The most popular excuse I figure if men like the look of me, they’ll come to me is no great surprise. I have to say though, if there’s one thing surveying has taught me, it’s that guys in Sydney won’t come to you. Even if they like the look of you. Even if they think you’re the woman of their dreams. They won’t approach you because they think:

  1. You might bite their head off/snub them in public like some evil cow once did.
  2. You are already in a relationship.
  3. Ironically, that if you like the look of them, you’ll go and speak to them.

It’s all about the social stalemate ladies, and it’s up to the individual woman to break it.

The second and third reasons are more tricky. But as someone who’s naturally shy with guys (yes I’m sure this will surprise a few of you) I can promise you that practice does help. The first time I walked into a pub to do surveys I went straight to the bathroom and hid there for half an hour. Now I survey without hesitation.

Practise talking to guys you don’t know when you’re out. Set yourself achievable social goals. Don’t say to yourself, “Tonight I must go out and meet the love of my life,” or even, “Tonight I must flirt with someone.” Instead think, “Tonight I will go out and talk to one guy I don’t know,” or even, “Tonight I will smile at a stranger.” Every little achievement will boost your confidence so that when the right guy comes along, you won’t think twice about approaching him (and thereby overcoming excuse Number 1!). Good luck!

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2 Responses to “Why we won’t talk to men”

  1. Paul May 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    Ive met a few nice girls because they “accidently” said something at the bar. If a guy gets a slight hint that you are friendly then they usually run with the lead, a ‘Are there any serviettes at the bar?’ would spark a conversation.

    • Lucie Stevens May 10, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

      Ooo good tip Paul! We should all give that a go!

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