How far would you go for love?

24 May

manMap ponders changeThis week’s post is a modern-day fairy tale.

Once upon a time there were three less-than-happy singletons. All in their 30s, they often wondered if a helpful fairy godmother/online dating service would deliver to them a man they could call their own. But day and night and month and year passed, and despite their loveliness and best efforts, no such man appeared.

Weary of singledom, these brave crusaders decided things needed to change, things about themselves. It wasn’t that any of them where heinous vipers with disturbing hobbies that might turn a man off (or an undesirable man on…). They’d been told by friends that they’d make delightful girlfriends, and in quieter moments they themselves knew this was true. They were just in a Large Single Rut. They’d hoped a Lovely Man would wander by their Rut, bend over to inspect it more closely, smile and then lift them from the Rut with warm, strong arms. But when the wing-girls realised this was not to be, they decided they’d have to de-Rut themselves.

And so, in their own ways, they made little changes. One took up golf and discovered she loved it. One changed the way she dressed and was suddenly bubbling with confidence. And the last wing-girl decided to ignore her insecurities and acknowledge that she was worthy of a relationship.

Although these changes might seem a bit simple/Oprah-esque, they held their own set of fears. The wing-girls had to courageously go forth, risking humiliation, exposure and potential wardrobe malfunction. And by the time our little planet had passed once around the sun, they were all paired with their own Mr Lovely and set to live happily ever after.

These wing-girls are a huge inspiration to me (sorry for reverting to the Oprah-esque). They decided to be open to change and it made them happier. Their Mr Lovelies were a bonus. A big one. But when The farmer wants a wife fills the dinnertime TV slot, I’m always a little ambivalent. Joining a golf club is one thing. Moving to rural WA is another.

This past season I had an added interest in TFWAW, purely for reasons of vanity. I liked seeing the name Lucie on the screen. I never had personalised mugs or novelty number plates as a child. The only thing my mum could ever find was The tale of Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, starring a little girl obsessed with her handkerchief. So when Lucie was chosen for the farm stay with Farmer Charles, I was excited. After all, we had a lot in common: we’ll both spend a lifetime saying ‘with an ie’, we’re both inner city girls, we’re both blessed with long, thick, gently curled hair (ok, I have to wear a wig for that last one). I was cheering for her but I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Does this Lucie really, really, really want to leave her delightful inner city apartment, where she has access to everything, to live in the Sticklands?’ Sure, she might not have a boyfriend, but there are over 300,000 single men in Sydney. Could she really be content with such a massive sea change when love was just a possibility and not a certainty?

Poor Lucie handled her rejection gracefully, especially considering she was on national television. I couldn’t stop myself wondering if she felt the teeniest bit relieved as she drove back to the city along those long country roads. Sure, she was heart-broken but she was returning to her habitat. And yet there were lots of city/suburban girls like her competing for the heart of a farmer.

So I wanted to put it out there: how much change would you be willing to make in the hope of attaining love? I’m not talking about after you’ve met someone you think might be your Mr Lovely. I’m taking about the changes you’re willing to make on the way to meeting him. Would you change your lifestyle, country, hobbies, social circle, profession? Would you hope that he’d be willing to change parts of his life too?

 And for all of you who would like a farmer without the tv drama, check out Thank goodness he’s a country boy. For $620 you’ll get a weekend in the country, complete with pampering sessions and dinner with the country’s finest off-screen single men.

Thank you to my mum for the clipping about Thank goodness he’s a country boy … and for Mrs Tiggy-Winkle.


6 Responses to “How far would you go for love?”

  1. phil May 25, 2011 at 7:34 am #

    I am willing to change but only within the range of my personal limits. Love is one of the most improtant things for men as well as women and most of us are willing to change and get out of our rut in our quest of some one and something new.

    • Lucie Stevens May 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm #

      Thanks for reading Phil and good to hear that we’re all pretty much in the same boat.

  2. Kate May 25, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    Great post Lucie!

    I think if you really want something, you need to take a few risks and make some changes. As long as you don’t change your true self, I think that you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain!

  3. Sanjay May 26, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

    Does that mean three great girls are no longer out there? The numbers keep shrinking!

  4. Lucie Stevens May 30, 2011 at 7:36 pm #

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Sanjay but don’t worry, there are still more single women than men. You’re in better position – enjoy it!

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