A man drought state of mind

21 Jun

manMap's in a man drought state of mindMan drought. A phrase that twists many a female heart. Like a plague of locusts, it buzzes in the mind of the singleton as she preps for a night out. It haunts her as she strains her eyes across the seemingly man-less landscape of her work. Like a stone in her shoe it digs into her with every step as she goes about her life, making her hesitate when she tries to be positive and assertive. And in moments of hope, she hears it hiss:

“He’s gotta be taken.”

“He won’t like someone like you.”

“He must be gay.”

“He’s probably looking at the model-esque woman over there.”

“He won’t make an effort because he knows he’s in demand.”

A shamefully long time ago (sorry – busy chores!) our WWWtK question was:

Do you make less effort to chat with women because there are so many in Sydney that it’s now up to the women to make the effort?

Well ladies, I asked. I asked tradies. I asked suits. I asked entrepreneurs. I asked guys in the east, in the city, in the inner city. I asked guys in their 20s and guys in their 40s. I asked sporty guys and guys who love their pets and guys who are creative. And history was made. This is the first occasion where all agreed. And what did they agree on?

Men don’t think about the man drought. In fact, lots of them didn’t even know there was a man drought in Sydney until I asked them our question. Many of them were under the impression that there was a woman drought. Guys don’t feel that women should approach them because there are more of us than them. As one guy said, “It doesn’t come into it.”

If a guy likes the look of you and he’s got grit, he’ll speak to you. If he doesn’t, it’s not that he thinks you should make the effort, or even than he doesn’t find you attractive. It’s often a matter of him not being confident enough (possibly because he’s tried before and had his head promptly bitten off) or much like you, he thinks you’re probably taken or not interested.

So it seems, lovely readers, that while the man drought might be a statistical reality, more than anything, it’s a state of mind stirred up by regular appearances in the media. Between magazine and newspaper articles, reality tv shows and ads for online dating services, we’ve been conditioned into a man drought state of mind.

Luckily, there’s an easy way to break your personal drought. Squish that buzzing locust into the footpath and give the guys out there a little encouragement. In not time at all, you’ll realise it’s raining men.

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8 Responses to “A man drought state of mind”

  1. Paul June 24, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    There is no man droubt in Sydney, i repeatedly have to tell my friends at a pub: this is a ‘sausage fest’ lets go somewhere else.

    The statements needs to be more ‘eligible man droubt’ or ‘eligible woman droubt’!

  2. blah July 30, 2011 at 3:29 pm #

    Yerp no man drought, just stupid shit women have put onto themselves

    • Lucie Stevens July 31, 2011 at 7:37 pm #

      Hi Blah,
      Statistically there is a man-drought – the term was actually coined by a man (demographer Bernard Salt) after researching the last census, so it’s a little more complicated than ‘stupid shit women have put on themselves’. Doesn’t mean there are no men though, which is the whole point of my research.
      Thanks for reading!

      • jenny August 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

        thanks for your article. even though its a statistical reality, the man drought keeps getting rolled out by the media (and by some men and women) like some great misogynist feast.

        you have cheered me up! and that’s something. thanks. i appreciate a different (and positive) take on this situation that a lot of us are faced with.

        it reminds me of a joke: what do men and women have in common? they both hate women.

        sigh.
        thanks again for being the only positive voice i could find on this topic.

  3. Lucie Stevens August 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    Hi Jenny,

    Thanks for reading and glad I cheered you up. Just remember you’re only really looking for one guy, and you’ve got over 200,000 potentials just in Sydney, so you’ve got a great chance of meeting the guy you’re looking for. Good luck!

  4. eric September 21, 2011 at 12:39 am #

    Interestingly the video interview of Mr. Salt showed TABLES of single MEN……Mr. Salt could have learned much more by grabing his pencil and note pad and walking around town, sitting in bars, going to church, watching a movie, swimming at the pool and noting the ratio of men to women……or we could keep the illusion of a man drought.

    • Lucie Stevens September 21, 2011 at 8:28 pm #

      Good point Eric. Salt’s figures (based on the census) are a bit out of whack anyway, because he classifies men who have girlfriends but aren’t married or de facto as ‘single’, which isn’t really the case. Thanks for reading!

  5. Max October 17, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    There is a Baked Beans drought too. If everyone went to the stores right now and bought 1 can of baked beans each, the supermarkets would immediately be out of baked beans. Except of course, that’s not how it works.
    I sort of agree with your survey, my following hurdles to approach a woman who is a stranger:
    1. Not hot enough. If a woman is attractive enough, any risk is worth it.
    2. Not open to advances. Smiling and not surrounded by defensive wing-women is good.
    3. Not going to repeat past failures. I used to approach lots of women, but there were so many nasty rejections that those days are gone (excepting #1).
    4. Not going to do all the work. Feminism and man-drought = if you like me then you make the first move.
    5. Not interested. Being a single guy is awesome. What exactly is she offering?

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