Hobby-honeys

20 Jul

manMap ponders hobbies...When it comes to love, my hobbies have always let me down. My teen years were dominated by two things: reading and horse-riding. As previously posted, I always hoped I’d find some boy-nerd clutching a dog-eared copy of my favourite book, but I knew it was a long shot. Riding, the only sport I’ve ever managed to do with any level of skill, didn’t prove helpful on the romantic front either. Even when I belonged to the local pony club, the only boys there were the young ones being dragged along with their elder sisters.  

By the time I started uni, I’d switched riding for writing, but this didn’t improve the situation. In a way, it actually made it worse. I suddenly found myself surrounded by smart, funny, articulate men who loved the written word. But most of them were gay. I felt like I was on the end of an elaborate trick the universe had choreographed.

Over the next decade, I tried to find other things I enjoyed doing that men might like to do too, but it seemed that everything attracted the wrong kind of men (ie. ones way too old for me). And so it was that one day in my early 30s, I asked my older, very sociable, brother what he and his friends liked to do. I held my breath while he thought for a moment. The Holy Grail had never felt so close. And then he answered:

We like to drink, and we like to watch car races.

Now anyone reading this who doesn’t know my brother has probably got the complete wrong idea about what sort of person he is. Contrary to his devastating response, he’s not some liver-diseased yobbo who spends his weekends in Bathurst watching cars go round in circles. He’s a well-educated, smart and charismatic man who’s spent the last 18 years working in the arts industry. His response threw me into a whirlpool of despair. Was it possible I’d have to embrace man-stuff like football and race tracks to meet guys? Did this mean I’d be condemning myself to weekends of footy-tips and the smell of burning rubber?

It was this conversation with my brother that actually initiated manMap. I realised the only way I could ever find out what Sydney men were up to was to interview them myself. Still, I wasn’t ready to give up hope that somewhere out there was a man whose hobbies might be compatible with my own. So I ask the men I map what they do in their spare time. And instead of telling you what the most popular hobbies are, tonight I’m going to honour the quirky men of Sydney, the ones who, like me, probably think they’ll never find someone who can appreciate how they spend their non-work hours, the activities that fill them with a glee that gets them through the stress and demands of all the other bits of life. 

Unsung hobbies of single Sydney men:

  • Going to museums (and he was a chef!)
  • Theatre (yes he was straight…)
  • Graphic design (yep…straight)
  • Living a hassle-free life (ok, bit lateral but I can see how it would take a certain level of commitment)
  • Trivia
  • Violence (hmmm…can’t understand why I didn’t ask for his number…)
  • Getting stoned
  • Spending time with his dog
  • Watching Foxtel
  • Being busy
  • DJ-ing
  • Studying wildlife (I wonder if this is a euphemism).

If you’ve got a hobby that’s helped you meet men, please share it by leaving a comment. You might inspire a single-sister to give it a go!

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9 Responses to “Hobby-honeys”

  1. mapmapmanfriend July 21, 2011 at 9:57 am #

    Gee, you’ve met some real gems haven’t you? “Getting stoned”. What a catch. and I’m with you – I think “Studying wildlife” is a euphamism for sitting on Bondi with binoculars studying boobies and not the feathered kind!

  2. Elena July 21, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    Slot-car racing!

  3. m8b0 July 29, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    quite seriously – ultimate frisbee: a not-at-all macho, fun, inclusive game with lots of mixed teams. i’ve met lots of great blokes (single and un-single). we go to the pub afterwards and often end up talking about politics. smart, svelte and sociable – some good catches!

    • Lucie Stevens August 3, 2011 at 7:38 pm #

      Where do you go to find ultimate frisbee? And what makes it ultimate?? I’m intrigued…

  4. POW August 1, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    Im a guy and I wondered the same thing, what do all the girls do for hobbies?
    Stuff ive tried:
    Salsa dancing and ballrom dancing – supposedly girls like a guy that can dance – suprisingly 70% of the people tend to be wierd!
    Gym – in 15 years of going to the gym I dont think its been condusive to meeting people. It should be not sure why people aren’t talkative at gym.

    As for the fast car events, I really dont see myself meeting a future girl friend at the bathhurst raceway…unless she’s wearing a valvoline tshirt and changing the car oil!

    What do I do with the guys:
    – Hit of some balls at the golf driving range.(not really geared for talking)
    – Beginners acting course was fun.
    Maybe I should start horse riding?

    • Lucie Stevens August 3, 2011 at 7:40 pm #

      Hi POW,

      If you can hold a tune and aren’t afraid to get up on stage (which I’m assuming you’re not given the acting course) track down your local amateur musical society. They always need guys and there are always HEAPS of nice single girls wishing they could meet a guy who liked to sing…

  5. Max October 17, 2011 at 9:29 am #

    Oh dear, I started reading this blog thinking it was all a bit of fun. But I’ve come to the conclusion you’re quite clueless.
    A man has hobbies you don’t like or vice-versa. So what? That’s a GOOD thing. In relationships you spend time together: sex, blobbing out, eating, socialising, sex. And you spend more time together, putting up with each other’s annoying existence. And you have your hobbies. Having one or two interests in common is fine, but you really want things you can do that allow you to get away from each other. Strengthen your other friendships, get your own space, appreciate your partner for their own individual preferences and talents.
    To put it another way, I like Pepsi. Do I want a girlfriend who likes Pepsi? No, it’s better when she likes Coke, that way she doesn’t drink all mine and I don’t drink all of hers.
    Looking for a man who likes certain things smells suspiciously of list-making, the enemy of relationships everywhere. Your list should have only 2 things, someone you like, someone who likes you. Don’t start a hobby to meet a man, it’s pathetic.

    • Lucie Stevens December 28, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

      I think the point is to get out there and enjoy a new experience…I know quite a few people who’ve met their partner that way. Nothing wrong with expanding your interests…

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