Frock philosophy

3 Aug

Once upon a Friday night in winter, three wing-girls set out for a round of mapping followed by dinner. For the sake of story-telling, let’s name the wing-girls according to hair type: Curly, Straight and Short. Mid-dinner, Curly was struck by a strong desire to dance to a cheesy covers band in the Rocks. The others were happy to oblige, even though Short wasn’t particular thrilled by the idea. She was dressed for warmth, not dancing. Lugging a huge coat around a beer-soaked pub wasn’t a particularly appealing idea.

When the trio arrived at the nominated pub, Short went straight to the bar. She was already feeling self-conscious and over-heated thanks to her 900 layers of clothing, so a nice cool vodka seemed to be the best solution. The pub was cramped with people in the mid-20s to early 50s. A strange assortment of office workers, tourists and ‘girls-night-out’ groups mingled on the dance floor, vying for space. It was exactly the kind of scene Short wasn’t into, but since her friends did nice things for her she realised it was a good opportunity to return the favour. She collected her drink, pushed away the negative chatter and slapped on her happy face.

Before long the wing-girls were on the dance floor. Straight was getting all kinds of attention without having to do much other than be her Lovely Self. This was interesting because Curly was also a very Lovely Self and after another vodka, Short was starting not to worry so much about looking out of place. Yet it was Straight alone that caught the men’s fancy. The bolder ones jostled around trying to get a better position of the floor to dance with her and the not so bold ones gave her little sideways glances of appreciation.

Being an avid student of human nature (ie. someone who enjoys staring at people), Short found this fascinating. To her, Curly and Straight were both equally attractive and charming. And yet Straight was chalking up all the points. What was going on? And then Short realised. It was all about outfits.manMap recommends avoiding convent wear

Short herself wasn’t getting any attention from the guys. She was dressed like she was being sent to a convent in Austria: shapeless shift dress over jeans and a skivvy, with ballet flats designed to withstand the walk home from the station. Nothing about her outfit said, “Hello Man, I think you’d like to talk to me because I’m a woman.” Curly was nicely dressed in a feminine little top and jeans but, being thin-blooded like Short, she was wearing a coat. Yes it was a lovely, fitted red coat, but it was still a coat. On a dance floor. It said to the guys, “I’m not even taking my coat off so don’t bother talking to me.” Straight on the other hand was dressed in her casual Friday work-wear: jeans, heels and a cami under one of those light cardi-top arrangements. She had enough flesh showing to remind men she was a woman but not enough to make her trampy like a lot of other women in the pub. And the men couldn’t get enough of it.

So the moral of the story is this: make sure you wear what’s appropriate for the venue you’re going to. If you’ve never been there before, do a bit of research. Look at the website or ask someone who’s been before. Over-dressing is just as dangerous as under-dressing. You don’t want to turn up at the Old Fitz or Cricketer’s dressed like you should be at Marble Bar. Make sure your clothes are pitched to the right market so you feel comfortable and confident when you get there. That way you’re more likely to get the kind of attention you’re hoping for.


4 Responses to “Frock philosophy”

  1. Belinda August 3, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    Ok, so first things first – are you “Short” in this story? I laughed at several lines, and I’m sure all women reading this, can relate to their own groups of friends like you have. I especially love the “900 layers of clothing” line. Excellent choice of picture too 🙂 about to share the blog with friends on facebook..

    • Lucie Stevens August 3, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      Hi Belinda, yes I’m Short, both in hair and stature! Thanks so much for reading and sharing. Glad to provide you with some light entertainment 🙂

  2. Max October 17, 2011 at 9:12 am #

    I always wonder why women cut their hair short and expect to get any interest from men. Short hair on a woman NEVER looks good. At best it makes you look like a boy, at worst it looks as though you just broke up with your boyfriend and cut your hair ‘to be in control of my life’. The shorter the hair, the more recent break-ups she’s been through = avoid!
    As proof long hair is good I offer: Every Advertisement Designed to Appeal to Men, Ever.

    • Lucie Stevens December 28, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

      What about Marilyn Monroe…she had short hair…

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