The reason behind the excuse

15 Mar

manMap ponders at PumphouseOnce upon a Friday evening six women in their 30s gathered in a CBD bar. They hadn’t seen each other for a while and were keen to catch up, have a laugh and embrace happy hour. For the sake of convenience they met at Verandah Bar, which was central and known for its mapping success, drinkable house white and not being overrun by girls in their early 20s.

The women sat at a table along the rear wall, near the entrance of the bathrooms. It afforded a good view of other patrons, particularly those at the bar and on their way to the loo. As the evening passed, the crowd thinned as others moved on to more fashionable locations or dinner dates, and it became easier to check out the guys at nearby tables.

As per usual, the women were fairly loud. A combination of sitting near the DJ and $5 drinks made them even louder. Their occasional bursts of song and hip-hop moves probably drew unnecessary attention to them, but they didn’t care. They were having fun. They all enjoyed a bit of silliness at the end of the week.

Sitting at the table nearby was a pair of men. Glances had been exchanged but the men were at an awkward distance, being on the other side of the aisle to the bathroom. Ms Italia whispered to Ms mM that she liked the look of the one in the striped shirt.

“They won’t come over here,” Ms mM said. “The other one’s on crutches. Too tricky to mingle.”

Not long after, the table in front of the women’s emptied and the two men quickly moved to it (well, as quickly as a man on crutches can). Glancing continued but talk had shifted to a potential romance Ms PP was involved in, capturing the women’s attention. Not long after, the ladies decided it was time to head home, and they parted ways having spoken only to each other and the bar staff.

As Ms mM walked home (I’m in a third person mood for some reason), she wondered what had stopped the women from speaking to the pair of men. There had clearly been some attraction on the men’s part and Ms Italia was tentatively interested. Ms mM realised that her research had given her insight into why the men hadn’t approached the women, but not the reverse. Her assumptions about women were based on her knowledge of herself and her friends.

And so she decided it was time to delve not into the psyche of the man, but into that of the woman. What were the main reasons women wouldn’t speak to men they didn’t know? Perhaps if we knew the answer to this question, we’d have a better idea of how to help ourselves through our social stagnation.

Please vote below, selecting up to two responses you feel best describe why you don’t approach men. (If you do approach men, snaps to you!) Feel free to leave another reason and be as honest as possible. The poll is anonymous, so no one will be able to connect your response with you. Beloved subscribers, please visit my blog so you can vote. 🙂

Please share this post via Facebook/Twitter etc with all the single women you know so we can get as many responses as possible. I’ll leave it open for a few weeks and then report back on how most women feel.


7 Responses to “The reason behind the excuse”

  1. Westie Wing Girl March 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm #

    Man, you guys annoy me. You KNOW Westie Wing Girl would have broken the ice. Men are not delicate creatures that need to be coddled. They are animals that need to be herded. WWG is really annoyed. Especially with Ms Italia. She should know better. 😦

    • Lucie Stevens March 15, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

      Ms mM was VERY hungry WWG. You know she can’t be civil when she’s hungry…

  2. Steven March 16, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    As I guy I know I can’t vote, but if I could, I would go with – because I don’t wear my glasses. Ah, vanity, thy name is Steven (or Steve for short). I always think I look better without my glasses, and leave them off because I want to look as close to an Adonis as I can to make girls take interest. Yet without my glasses, I am left with an squint that makes me look like I’m angry or at least, deeply suspicious. I can try to relax my face, but then I have no idea if the girl I’m looking at is 26 or 66, or worse yet, I’ll have a nice conversation with a girl and then not know what she looked like to talk to her again. What the solution is, I don’t know. Perhaps look online for a picture of Johnny Depp wearing glasses and then try to find a pair like them.

  3. Lucie Stevens March 17, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

    Or Stevens in my case Steven, hehe!
    I think your idea of tracking down Deppesque glasses is a good one. Some girls like a man in glasses so maybe you shouldn’t worry. I tend to look cross if I don’t have mine on and the lighting’s low. Not very conducive to making guys think I’m approachable…

  4. Ferret March 21, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    Dare I say it… Contact lenses? I’ve found a huge change since I’ve started wearing them. Not only in looks, but confidence, as well. I love them!


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    […] in the month I posted a poll to find out why some women don’t feel comfortable approaching men. This poll is open for […]

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